An essay I wrote in art school. I got an A. I hope you find it as amusing as my teacher did.

Double Meanings in Advertising Phrases

I cannot be the only person who read the requirement of this assignment, and then immediately began making dirty jokes about almost every advertising line I have ever heard in my life. Rendered completely incapable of thinking of anything not filthy, I decided to run off to the grocery and see if I could find something to break my train of thought. Everything I saw looked like a dirty joke, and I am not sure they will ever allow me back in that Food Lion store.

The first thing I saw, right there in the pharmacy aisle, was a tube of toothpaste labeled “Cinnsational!”, I realize this is an attempt to meld the word “cinnamon” and the word “sensational”, but I would not be marketing anything that is supposed to clean my mouth that also sounds like an amalgum of “sin” and “sensational”. I would certainly not market it to kids. As an adult, I can’t get the neuro-association of mouthy sin out of my mind. But my nephew would likely not get the reference and would probably love it. Would I buy it for him? Heck, no.

There are a lot of jokes I could make right now, but I won’t because I am afraid I will be expelled.

Now, there are two advertising slogans from Burger King that are rather telling; “You’re the boss!” and “Have it your way!”

Both of these slogans give a sense of power to the kind of person who would be likely to be dining at Burger King, no one’s first choice for breaking one’s fast. However, at Burger King, even if you’re a shlub who has to eat there, you’re the boss! You’re the king! You rule! You can even request no pickle if you want! Wow! You’re a man! You will order a big, manly, massive burger that will shore up your self esteem with big, manly advertising slogans of massive powerfulness! By the time you get out of Burger King, you will be as massive a world leader as Kim Jung Il!
(more…)

The last storm took out an electric pole in front of the house and we are on generator energy while the nice people from the power company try to fix the problem. But because power is spotty, uploads, downloads and email are dicey activities. So, I am not ignoring anyone, I’m just not willing to spend another half hour writing something only to see it go down the rabbit hole when we get a surge.

Also, yes, I am feeling better, but still sick, thanks for asking. I’m sure I will be completely well by mid next week.

Shoulda got a flu shot before I went to that convention, that’s for sure.

c

A few posts down, I mentioned Michael Whelan’s adventures doing cover art for a Michael Jackson album cover, and then having trouble getting paid for it. It was pointed out to me that the cover art was for the Jackson Five album Victory, and not for a Michael Jackson album, so thanks for that, and that’s what I get for trying to remember the article off the top of my head!

I was going crazy trying to remember where I had found the story, but eventually dug up American Fantasy Summer 1987. So, not Interzone, as I had thought.

Whelan repeatedly praised the Jacksons as being nice to meet and deal with, but here’s the actual quotes from the magazine about the incident.

Whelan said: “The unfortunate thing was that so many people around them had their own ideas about what the painting should look like that my ideas of what it should be got lost in the shuffle. You can add to the fact that fifty percent of the painting was executed on a stove in an apartment in Hollywood in very hot weather, under adverse circumstances…by the time I figured attorney’s fees, how much time I spent on it and the aggravations, I probably made as much on an hourly basis as I would’ve received for a regular commission.”

Whelan reserves most of his disattisfaction for the record company who “…were constantly trying to get me to get my price down, telling me they had illustrators lining up on the street outside to do this job for free and I’m ripping them off and do I realize all the jobs I’m going to get as a result of doing this Jackson over? Well, I have to laugh because I didn’t get one job as a result of that cover.”

It got worse when Whelan was misquoted in an interview. A reporter said Michael Jackson wanted his skin lightened for the cover art. The headline read “Michael Jackson Wants to be White.”

Whelan lightened Jackson’s skin in the painting as a creative decision so the figures would stand out from the dark background, but Whelan was concerned about the fan reaction to the interview. It doesn’t appear there was any fallout from it. Jackson later went on to whiten his skin without any help from Whelan, so no harm done by Whelan in the end.

“So much for my flirtation with big-time PR.”

OK, there you have it, and thanks to everyone for your patience while I scared this up! Now you have the straight skinny! And you have an example of how even the most respected creators can get the runaround from clients!

To what extent these musical artists are responsible for the abuse of freelancers doing their album covers, I do not know.

c