I like conservatives. I really do. My family is full of them. Policemen, Marines, devout Catholics. They like comic book movies, and sometimes read my comic books.
I get the occasional disgruntled letter from a person out there in cyberland who thinks I am too conservative because I support gay rights while at the same time I send care packages to lonely soldiers in Iraq. Oh, the cognitive disconnect.
Libertarians confuse people.
When I link to this site, let it be very clear that I don’t believe Debbie Schlussel represents all conservatives…just the ones who have complete meltdowns over graphic novels for grownups and the movies they spawn. In this case, Watchmen.
The comment thread is epic. Both the original post, her responses to the comments, and the comments themselves have more ad hominems per square inch than anyplace else on the internet, with the possible exception of Sarah Palin hate rants at The Huffington Post. Which I don’t like one bit more than some of the bizarre comments at this site.
From Ms. Schlussel’s review. She did not think Watchmen was a good movie:
If you take your kids to see “Watchmen,” you’re a moron.
If you see it yourself, you’re also probably a moron and a vapid, indecent human being.
You are a bad, bad person for seeing it. Bad. Then again, Ms Schlussel saw it, too.
I don’t just worry that this is the new superhero movie being marketed to your kids today. I worry about the ones that will be even more depraved a decade from now.
G-d help this country (minus Hollywood).
Watchmen will make your kids grow up to be psycho killers, I guess.
She gives it a rating of four Karl Marx’s, plus. With little pictures of Karl Marx. Kinda reminds me of the old Comics Journal rating system of little old ladies. Except, you know, pictures of Karl Marx instead.
Whatever.
From the comments thread, some viewers were equally displeased with the film, though it is doubtful most of them saw it:
HOLLYWOOD HAS NEVER GOTTEN IT NOR WILL THEY EVER GET IT UNTIL THE BIG ONE STRIKES UNDERNEATH L-A DESTROYING THE MOVIE/TV STUDIO AND HOPEFULLY SENDING THE ACTORS TO THE DEATHS IN HELL!
Ms Schlussel’s responses to people who disagree with her assessment are in all caps as well:
HUH? I NEVER SAID I COLLECT COMIC BOOKS TO KNOW ABOUT “THE WATCHMEN.” I KNOW YOU READ THAT ON IMDB AND ARE REPEATING WHATEVER THE DUMMIES LIKE YOU ARE TELLING YOU THERE, BUT I NEVER SAID THAT. WOW, SO IF PEOPLE ARE REAL–AS IN REAL VIOLENT–AND THEY CHANGE HISTORICAL EVENTS DELIBERATELY, THEN THAT MAKES IT REAL COOL AND HIGHBROW. THANKS FOR THE TIP. AND THANKS FOR EDUCATING ME THAT RAPE AND GRISLY VIOLENCE IS HIGH CULTURE THAT I DON’T “GET.” GO TELL IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AT COMMUNITY COLLEGE FILM CLASS OR G.E.D. SCHOOL. IT MIGHT FLY THERE. FYI, MEIN KAMPF IS A VISION OF AN ALTERNATE WORLD. MAYBE WE SHOULD WORSHIP THAT, TOO, AIRHEAD. DS
YES, LIBERAL TIME MAGAZINE–THE ARBITER OF ALL TRUTH. JUST ASK ARIEL SHARON AND THE MILLIONS OF SUBSCRIBERS WHO NO LONGER SUBSCRIBE TO THAT PIECE OF CRAP. THE TRAILERS ON TV ARE NOT DARK AND DO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A SUPERHERO MOVIE, PERIOD. AND THEY ARE MARKETING TOYS TO KIDS, AND THEY’VE BEEN SHOWING PREVIEWS AT PG AND PG-13 MOVIES. YOU DON’T THINK KIDS SEE THESE. WAKE THE HECK UP. THIS BLIND WATCHMEN ILLNESS IS WORSE THAN I’VE ALREADY DIAGNOSED. DS
For a moment there, I honestly thought I was reading The Onion.
AH, YES–THE BACKGROUND EXCUSE. SO, IF THERE’S A “BACKGROUND” OF A “GRAPHIC NOVEL” THAT MAKES ALL OF THIS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY LIKE TOTALLY AWESOME. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT’S ABOUT AND THE BACKGROUND, AND THAT DOESN’T JUSTIFY A THING. SO SAD FOR HITLER–HE COMMITTED SUICIDE WAY TOO SOON. IF HE’D ONLY HUNG ON TO THE YEAR 2009 AND THE “BACKGROUND” AND “GRAPHIC NOVEL” EXCUSE, THAT WOULD MAKE THINGS SO MUCH BETTER. I GOT THE “MESSAGE”–NOT SURE HOW IT JUSTIFIES A THING. SOME SAY HITLER HAD A “GREAT MESSAGE.” EVER READ MEIN KAMPF? I GUESS MAYBE A MESSAGE JUSTIFIES COOKING PEOPLE IN OVENS, TOO. BUT, HEY, HE FORGOT TO MAKE MEIN KAMPF INTO A GRAPHIC NOVEL. BIG MISTAKE.
OH, AND YES, LET’S MAKE THE WORLD EVEN MORE OF A DARK SCARY PLACE BY MAKING THESE KINDS OF MOVIES TO BE INHALED BY PEOPLE LIKE YOU. AWESOME. DS
Dissenting opinions pop up:
It’s great that you’re trying to take time out of your busy schedule of probably standing around glaring at people with differing opinions from you to warn parents of the evils that movies hold for their children, but the point is that this movie was never intended for kids. There are adults who collect figures, whether you agree with that or not, and the toys were marketed toward them as well as the movie. It’s been created based on a long standing graphic novel and is marketed and caters toward the fans. It makes no attempt to disguise itself as a kids’ movie, and the trailers themselves market political intrigue and violence, the former of which should direct kids away and the latter of which should get parents to direct their children away. Anybody who takes their kids to see this is guilty themselves of not caring, so you’d probably be better served fighting a battle that actually matters instead of using the empty power of the internet to cater to other armchair revolutionaries.
And score one for Team Whacko:
My god anyone who takes you seriously should be shot. You are why all other country hate the United States. May i ask a question in all seriousness, would you kill a Muslim? I think you would. How about a Buddhist? I really dont think your one sided view on the masterpiece that is Watchmen is really what makes me angry. Its your blatant, self absorbed ignorance. I would love to argue with you about any topic under the sun. It would be my honor to make you feel like the true fascias pig that you are.
Posted by: youarewetaded
I’d go out in my garden to work today to scrub out my brain, but I have one of those graphic novels to draw, and I had a late night.
The new book is called Gone to Amerikay and it is a multi-generational Irish saga. You can see a quick preview here.
I’m relatively certain it will not rot your brain or cause you to grow up and commit rape and murder, but then, I’m prejudiced. I like those icky graphic novel things.
I have yet to see the Watchmen film, because I am still too sick to go about and mingle in public, but I fully intend to see it. I read the graphic novel years ago. Didn’t turn into a rapist or murderer or anything, but I did grow up and draw comic books. But then, I was drawing comic books before Watchmen came out, so I guess I’m a lost cause.
Wow, that comment thread was epic.
I’ll just add seeing Watchmen to the list of Things That Make Me Evil. Really must assign a minion to keep up with them all. It’s tough being the Bitch-Queen of the Universe!
We all need to wear more leather. Lots of it. Very tight.
I keep forgetting to don the Evil Corset and keep trying to rule the universe while wearing a tattered red robe and flipflops. Damn! Now I see where I’ve been going wrong, all these years!
Don’t forget to pack your Handbook of Evil: the Watchmen graphic novel!
I almost feel bad for linking to that, but it was so bizarre and funny. I guess it’s good to know what this sort of person thinks about the work we do.
What really bothers me these days is the fashion of wishing that people who disagree with you will die in some horrible manner. This one looks forward to The Big One killing off the movie-makers. One of her dissenters things that the readers who agree with her should be shot. A week or so ago it was the Scans Today crowd hoping that Peter David would DIAF (die in a fire). I find that attitude *much* more disturbing than pretend graphic novel violence.
I am suddenly reminded of Nixon who in the movie, was perfectly okay with losing the eastern seaboard of the US because it will get rid of those left wing hippies.
Look! I finally came back!
Here in Japan, Watchmen doesn’t come out until the end of the month. I never really got into the comic book. “Bored” is not quite the word. It just didn’t grab me. So, while I suffer no compelling urge to see the movie because of that idiot woman’s blog… I also just suffer no compelling urge to see the movie.
But I probably will see it with a good friend or two. One is a big fan and she’ll be there on opening day! I’d go with her, except I work that day.
I was already evil before I read Watchmen. I just needed to keep up my credentials. You know, like publishing to maintain tenure.
It’s funny that the two most politically and ideologically conservative characters in the book are Rorshach and Ozymandias–the social conservative with the absolutist black and white worldview and the fiscal conservative business captain of industry.
I could argue for the Comedian too, but he’s not a conservative, he’s an opportunist that happened to get better pay on that side.
Ozymandias is hot.
Except for the purple jacket. Sheesh.
but it’s a *royal* purple! Oh wait, it’s also Tinky-Winky purple.
Nevermind XD
(oh and I was looking at the title to this entry and remembered in the weird way I store all kinds of stupid trivia that among the other things Ozzy’s Veidt Industries markets is a candy called MMmeltdowns XD )
Colleen, I thought you had some sort of software that prevented you from wasting time online with stuff like this!
I sure need that software, because OF COURSE I had to click that link to read it for myself, and OF COURSE I had to then poke around the rest of that woman’s site, and OF COURSE I had to then google her to find out exactly who the hell she was.
What a nutjob! And I don’t say that just because her politics are probably exactly opposite mine on every point. I can read and respect conservative writers when they present intelligently considered and well-written positions. But it always makes me laugh when someone – no matter what part of whatever spectrum they’re coming from – writes such stupid things in such a stupid manner, with such a poor command of the written language, and then lambasts others for their poor reading comprehension skills!
LOL! Leechblock ONLY works on websites on which you you specifically program the block. For example, I can’t spend more than a half hour a day on my own website.
However, any site I don’t frequent – such as Ms. Schlussel’s site – I can enjoy as long as I want.
And it’s like watching a train wreck, isn’t it?
I can’t get over the fact that she declares anyone who sees the movie to be “probably” a “moron”, “vapid” and “indecent”.
But…SHE saw the movie.
I’m with you. Her writing is quite bad. Even for a blogger. I can get very sloppy on my blog, but good gracious.
I’ve never seen anyone invoke Godwin’s Law with such frequency. It’s like she’s suffering from Tourette’s Godwins Law.
I’m not seeing the logic behind invoking Mein Kampf in a discussion of Watchmen, but I’m just evil, I guess.
It’s the leather underwear. It makes me bad.
And the corset.
Bad bad bad.
Forgive me, I’m not even going to click the link. Really, life’s too short.
Besides, I’m off to see Watchmen again…
DOUBLE TAKE!
Arlnee, I just got the reference to Tinky-Winky Purple! OOooooh you are a wicked woman! WICKED!!!!
“Forgive me, I’m not even going to click the link. Really, life’s too short.
Besides, I’m off to see Watchmen again…”
Allan Harvey is a bad man.
I’m a little freaked out to see how popular that woman’s site is. Perhaps popular is not the word.
Notorious?
That trainwreck has had me entranced for most of the day. But then, I’m evil, so that’s only natural. And I’m not just evil, thanks to Colleen, I’m now correctly accessorized, with my Handbook of Evil and Evil Corset. The bathrobe is just the Bathrobe of Ill Repute.
Arlnee — that was awesome.
She’s at it again:
http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2009/03/la_times_movie.html
“Many scenes of Dr. Manhattan’s computer generated penis swinging about”
She writes that like it’s a bad thing…
So, Colleen, your Leechblock prevents you from wasting time on worthwhile websites, like … your own, but allows you to goof off on random nutter’s blogs? That makes me LOL.
The thing about her review that strikes me as really funny is that the most common complaint about the Watchmen movie is that Zack Snyder didn’t ‘get’ the complexities of Alan Moore’s graphic novel, that he just recreated the surface of the original work. Having seen the film, I’d say that was a reasonable critique. However, Debbie’s review only responds to the surface of the film . . . There’s sex! And violence! Snyder isn’t as deep as Moore, but he is deeper than that!
Yeah, Leechbllock has to be programmed! For awhile I was blogging way too much. It has pretty much put a stop to it.
But the random nutter blogs are out there, and once in awhile they suck out my brain.
Ms Schlussel seemed to like 300. It had a rape, and lots of violence. Here’s what she thought of that movie:
“And that’s sad because the battle scenes are great. They are bloody and violent. It’s hard to keep track of the beheadings, impalings, and other sickening effects of war.”
“Overall, very good, and entertaining. Could have done with less gore, and without the fictional monsters and deformed concubines inserted only for the amusement of the comic book class. Not for kids or even teens.”
So, she is able to make the distinction that “300″ is a comic book movie for grownups, but she can’t make that cognitive leap for “Watchmen”. Go figure.
But she did like “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle”.
Gratuitous snarky gay crack about semi-nude men’s appeal to Elton John concert goers. Wow, what a wit.
http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2007/03/weekend_box_off_43.html
Oh, what am I doing. There’s another ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
Please don’t let this whack-a-doo make you think all conservatives think like her. We (all) don’t. I take watchmen as what it is, a movie, nothing more, nothing less. And a movie I won’t watch until it comes to DVD. Why waste $20 going to the theater when you can wait six months and own a copy and watch it in your own apartment, with your own drinks and popcorn.
colleen:
I was hoping you’d get that reference
btw: “tourette’s godwin’s law”=EPIC WIN
I also have not followed the link.
However, I suspect her site is “popular” at the moment specifically because of her rant about WATCHMEN. I’ve seen mention and linking of her meltdown elsewhere on the net this week.
As for Dr. Manhattan’s endowment… it wasn’t really swinging all that much. It was just there. Now… if we’d seen it in priapic engorgement, my eyebrows might have gone up. But otherwise? Um… it’s called a human body. And when was the last time this woman complained about bare women’s breasts in a film? I’m all for equal opportunity nudity – if we’re going to have it on film at all.
I have no patience for ranters like her. Cripes.
Train wreck or avalanche?
Thank you, Ms. Doran, for encapsulating that site. Instead of wasting time there, I can spend it researching ways to take over the world. Because, not only did I read Watchmen back when I was an impressionable teenager in Omaha, Nebraska (a big red state before there were red states), but I also read Dark Knight Returns, Ronin, and The One. Tempered with the inspired lunacy of Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, Monty Python, Walt Kelly, and MAD Magazine, I guess my brand of evil is similar to the Comedian’s.
So, having been seduced, I now actively seduce the innocent. Which is the best way to Take Over The World… face-to-face for a few minutes, and then let them loose to seduce others. (And when I need an ego boost, I put on my tyrian purple boxer shorts patterned with murex shells.)
I didn’t follow the link either. I know better. Even reading the comment threads on any news article on AOL or SFgate makes my forehead vein bulge just like in the manga. So thank you for taking the bullet for me Colleen
I can imagine what this freakazoid would do if the ever made ADS into a movie. Heck, I can imagine what she’d do if they made ZOT! into a movie!
Did a bit of research when this popped up around the Web, and it’s pretty clear she’s an Ann Coulter wannabe. Which I define as someone trying to get attention by being obnoxious and over the top without having any interesting ideas*.
I also found it interesting that in the bio bit on her site, she makes a point of mentioning she was a “National Merit Scholarship finalist”. Now, it’s usually a bad sign when, without any prompting or good reason, someone brags about their SAT scores years after college, but that amounts to bragging about her PSAT scores, which is a whole new level of padding the resume. ‘Cause all being a NMS finalist meant was having reasonably high PSATs.
*When I worked on a speakers series for a company with a reputation for having a large number of liberal employees and management, Coulter was our poster child for who we wouldn’t invite or have as a speaker. We would’ve loved to have any number of conservative figures who either had significant ideas, even if a lot of folk would’ve disagreed with ‘em, or who had been in significant positions in government or the like. But we pegged Coulter as a hater who had nothing to offer than hate; no interesting ideas or perspectives or accomplishments unrelated to making a career from hate.
“For a moment there, I honestly thought I was reading The Onion.”
Now…Colleen…that is just mean. The Onion is coherent.
Sorry to be so slow in moderating comments. I’m having connectivity issues. No, we haven’t had any problems with the comments or commenters, it’s just our filter likes to make sure anyone who is new to the blog gets approved before they can make their first post. So we know you are not SPAM.
If A Distant Soil were made into a movie, she would have lots to complain about, but then I’d appreciate the publicity. I think ADS is far milder than Watchmen, but I’m prejudiced.
I just finished my midterms today so my brain is totally fried. That being said, I’m going out and getting the watchman comic right now.
Marina has turned to the dark side. She’s going to see Watchmen.
*hands Marina her obligatory Leather Outfit of Evil*
The more people who choose to be the things that scare Schlussel? The better. I was aimless in life until I saw her rampage against Watchmen.
BTW, she is the “critic” that declared Spider-Man was not a hero because sometimes he cries.
Are you kidding me? Seriously? You mean, if Aunt May gets offed by the Green Goblin, Peter is supposed to be stoic about it?
Wow, even Marcus Aurelius might have a problem exercising that level of self control.
I do believe there is almost nothing any of us can do that won’t scare Ms. Schlussel, if male weeping tilts her world on its axis.
Super Hero Men do not cry, especially not about losing the girl.
In all fairness to the Schlussel’s use of all-caps, she explains it in the comments that she uses all caps to distinguish her responses from those of other commentators. (I should note that I have not seen the movie yet, but am assuming it is a fairly faithful rendition of the comic book.) Schlussel does make some good points: this movie is not appropriate for children, and parents who bring their 10-year old to see the movie are not doing a great job of parenting. In fact, it’s not an appropriate graphic novel for 10-year olds either. Would anyone really dispute that?
Is Watchmen depraved? I don’t know if any work of fiction can necessarily be described as depraved, but certainly many of the characters depicted in Watchmen are depraved. And the message of the end-always-justifying-the-means may be a depraved one as well.
I first read Watchmen in my 20s, and thought it was a terrific story. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen where there are plot holes and serious inconsistencies. And his treatment and depiction of female characters in Watchmen is terrible at best. The pivotal plot twist around the Silk Spectre is ludicrous.
That being said, Schlusser is over the top: this is not the most depraved movie ever, nor is it a plot to warp the minds of children. She needs to step back, take a deep breath, and avoid ranting.
“Schlussel does make some good points: this movie is not appropriate for children, and parents who bring their 10-year old to see the movie are not doing a great job of parenting. In fact, it’s not an appropriate graphic novel for 10-year olds either. Would anyone really dispute that?”
Certainly. Contrary to her columns on the topic, I do not know a single person suggesting it *is*. The filmmakers sure aren’t. The people who have read the original story sure aren’t.
Had Schlussel simply did a column stating how this is most definitely not for children, please do some research as parents and do not assume that “super-heroes make it kid friendly? It would have been a non-issue. Of course, then no one would be talking about her, and Schlussel is definitely of the school of Limbaugh. Insult people and then claim *they* are the ones with the problem.