I know most people come here to read articles on the practical side of the creator life: money management, contracts, dealing with editors.

Forgive me for this.

Over at Details, enjoy “So the Woman You Love Has the Hots for a Vampire.”

Vampire tourism brings 60,000 people annually to the little town of Forks. Women swoon over fictional hunks. Men lament the fact that women are no longer satisfied with real men. And now they all know how we feel about Playboy.

This article is five pages long and you will enjoy it.

“I dream about him,” says Tanna Noble, a 46-year-old Twihard from Eatonville, Washington. Dangling from her neck is an ancient-looking pendant that represents the Cullen family crest. “I dream explicit dreams about Edward. You can’t put down what I dream about Edward. It is very, very erotic. It’s not Rob Pattinson. It’s Edward.”

Well, over at NthDraft Livejournal, that saucy wench has found the ultimate Twilight pleasure tools. This is all very NWS, and after you will need to scrub out your eyes with clorox. But if you are into this sort of thing, you will not only get to enjoy a little piece of Edward, it will sparkle for you. You know what I mean.

The reviews are awesome.

Hey there. I appreciate the authenticity y’all were going for here, but I have to tell you that real vampires just do NOT sparkle. That’s ridiculous. Now, if you make one of these that gets cold and all but doesn’t have any of that glitter on it? That would work for me. And maybe you could name it the Viking or something.

Go to the NthDraft to see the before/after on the advertising copy. Methinks someone got a call from an attorney.

And for added snaps and giggles, NthDraft links to yet another happy vampire device that I do not get at all (not that I really get the other one either, but whatever,) because I just can’t understand why anyone would put vampire teeth in a can.

see more Epic Fails

I warned you, all is NWS, but the LULZ will linger, so have a look.

Previous Twilight Wank is here, including links to the not-to-be-missed Sparkledammerung!

Tags: Fandom, Fantasy, Humor, Twilight

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 21st, 2009 at 1:26 pm and is filed under Blog, Fandom, Fantasy, Film and Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.