Work Bird is dazzled by my industry
on June 22nd, 2010Even though I take time to do stupid things like make pictures in Photoshop.
He sees all.
This may sound like an odd admission, but it’s been years since I have felt good about my work. For most of my life, I have had no trouble staying on top of things, keeping long hours, being highly productive. I enjoyed hard labor.
Others call it “workaholic”: I call it “work reveler”.
But I hit a wall a few years back, and my Gotta evaporated.
Lots of reasons for the old Gotta to go, most of them personal and health related. So, no further explanation required, I guess.
But boy is it scary to realize you can’t remember things from one hour to the next. One minute to the next.
I used to dazzle friends (I like to think) with the ability to remember long strings of numbers, and I’d roll out pi like a party trick. Then I couldn’t remember my four digit pin code. I slept badly, was lethargic, had no inspiration. I’d try to draw, and couldn’t remember how. I spent most of my day shuffling about looking for reference – which felt kinda like work
Or I’d blog – which felt kinda like work.
But real work didn’t get done.
About a year ago, the fog started to lift. And fog is exactly what it felt like…grey days.
For the first time since 2006, I began to produce real work. Slowly, the Gotta came back. I sat down to draw and drawing felt good. I sat down to write. And writing felt pretty good, too.
Still, I couldn’t keep those old hours, and didn’t feel the old energy. I wondered if the old Gotta was gone forever.
Is this what middle age feels like?
The last time I had the Gotta was 2006.
Here is what Gotta is like.
I get up at 8 AM.
Pop out of bed. Spring. Spring loaded. Can’t wait to get moving.
Out for an hour or more of exercise, or, if the day is going to be very hot, I put that off until late evening.
Grab a breakfast drink, and go draw. Ten minutes to make sure tools are gathered and papers ready. Later, I take an hour or so to answer email, web surf, blog. An hour of the day goes to filing and admin duties.
I have no trouble feeling motivated for ten hours or more. I feel more energy as the day goes on, even when my hand hurts or my eyes are sore.
About 6 or 7 PM on a hot day. I get out and get some exercise. When I was jogging regularly, that meant two hours of running. Now it’s two hours of yard and garden work. Last night it was three hours. I came in at 9 PM.
After a shower, back to drawing. I draw until about 1 AM. I get most of my layouts done late because I am relaxed. Fine motor control work gets done early in the day.
That feels good and right to me. That is the way I like to live.
Sometime around late 2006, this life evaporated.
I had some fits and starts at Gotta in 2008, but since then, grey days.
The things that buzzkilled my Gotta were raptored by Work Bird. It’s 2010, and I feel normal.
Lately, every day is a Gotta. And I am very happy about that.
If other people want to think of this is workaholism, then fine by me.
It’s My Precious.
I’m glad to hear about your productivity! It always feels good to end the day feeling that you’ve filled it to its full potential. I share the same feelings of guilt as you when I don’t get enough “real” work done in a day. Sometimes I find it hard to sleep unless I feel that I’ve accomplished enough. I actually suffer from a reoccurring dream which I call the “mystery client” scenario, in which I wake up in a panic, thinking that I’ve forgotten a client! This dream happens quite often when my schedule is very full. Generally, I work on complicated projects during the day, because they are less enjoyable and require my full concentration. In the evenings, I work on creating inventory for selling at conventions, because this kind of work is more enjoyable to me, and it feels less like “real” work, even though technically, it is. I went back and reread your time management article, and you offer a lot of good advice there. Regarding friendships, I think it’s hard sometimes for people who work regular jobs to understand the drive that freelancers feel. I’ve been accused of being a “workaholic” more times than I can count! Ha ha- I’m going to start using your “work reveler” title from now on!
re: the evening work vs the day work: I have so much nervous energy that it is hard for me to concentrate and focus. Later in the day, after I have wound down a bit, my mind feels free.
Of course, sometimes I am so tired, I can’t do anything of use at the end of the day. If I am still trying to push at 3 AM, I am not at my best. All nighters never bring good results. They fill the page, but that’s about it.
If I am pulling an all-nighter, I try to make sure there is no real creative work left: just labor. Spotting blacks, hatching, that sort of thing.
About an hour or two before bed, that’s when I get my best ideas.
I do sketches earlier in the day, look at them at 11 PM, toss, and start over.
I also get nightmares about clients. But I am usually right that I have forgotten something, so I live my nightmares!
I’m most productive between 7:00pm and midnight, so I got in the habit of staying late at work (usually until 8:00 or 9:00 but often later). However, lately I’ve been dragging through the day, not even getting that much work done in the evening. I’ve come to the conclusion that I just cannot pull the 12 hour work days any more.
I’ve started to make a conscious effort to get more done during the day so I can leave by 7:00 at the latest. Doesn’t always work, but it’s early days yet.
(Ack! This is like the third time I’ve tried to comment. My internet connection keeps dropping off! Bleh!)
I’m glad you gotten the Gotta back! That means more goody stuff for us to see and enjoy. But for you, too, really enjoying your own work is an important thing.
Too me a while to regain mine. I know the feeling.
And I don’t think Work Bird will mind you having a little bit of fun. As long as the work keeps happening.
I’m just thrilled that you got your Gotta back.
If other people want to think of this is workaholism, then fine by me.
That’s because people apply the term “workaholic” too broadly. I’ve known workaholics who drive themselves mercilessly at jobs that bring them very little intrinsic happiness. They’re driven by the external trappings of success — status, money, and more money. I feel badly for them.
There’s a world of difference between being driven by external measures of success, and driving yourself at something that has intrinsic worth to you. If you really, really love what you do, why stop at 5 p.m.?
Workaholic, sexaholic, it seem to me that the moment people have fun living, it’s suddenly inappropiatly ‘holic’ somehow.
I’ve been punching out fanfic like crazy lately, and doing some small volunteer work for the same site. Not quite a gotta, but close right now.
Bill wins.
After the evening’s chores, I take my shower and get right into my flannel jammies and bunny slippers.
I love flannel jammies. If I had my druthers, I’d never wear anything else. They are the secret of my success!
I had to reflect on this for a while. I am happy that you got your GOTTA back, this bodes well for future ADS issues.
I am closer to Bill’s definition of a ‘workaholic’ than yours. I rise very slowly in the morning and like to take my time starting work. I do get inner satisfaction from my work and I did find that without purposeful work, I felt a bit lost. However, my goals more towards funding my convention trips and paying for my art purchases.
New motto: ‘Will work for art’
I have a Midwestern Work Ethic (instilled by a father who grew up on a farm during the 1930s and a German mother who grew up during the 1940s), so I understand your drive.
I’m not a workaholic, but if there’s a job that needs doing, I’ll roll up my sleeves and get it done. I’ll pitch in and help (Boy Scout Complex) then celebrate the accomplishment later. And, having read how Southwest Airlines succeeds, I also try to have some fun while working my ass off.