A Distant Soil by Colleen Doran

Every once in awhile, some disgruntled person or other goes off on a series of rants about pesky artists who, in the words of our esteemed colleague Allan Harvey, “…have the temerity to want to make money from their art.”

The rants expose artists who have donation buttons on their websites (SHOCK!) use the dreaded kickstarter for fundraising (don’t you know there are children starving in Appalachia?) object to legions of internet kleptomaniacs (they’re just sharing outside the bounds of permission culture,) or who, worse still, refer to their supporters as…Oh my God, I know how horrible this is going to sound, so brace yourselves…

patrons

A patron is:

A person who is a customer, client, or paying guest, especially a regular one

One that supports, protects, or champions someone or something, such as an institution, event, or cause; a sponsor or benefactor

A person chosen, named, or honored as a special guardian, protector, or supporter

A wealthy or influential supporter of an artist or writer

Patronage is the support, encouragement, privilege, or financial aid that an organization or individual bestows to another

So, like, it’s a totally evil word. Artists who thank their patrons are just being pretentious. And, like, totally taking advantage of you!

Because when you buy books from our websites and we thank you for it, or when you send us five bucks and say “Have a cuppa on me!” it’s like we Madoff with your entire wallet and gave nothing in return but a stroke. Which, BTW, will cost you a twenty in most places.

I think 1000 pages of a website in exchange for a voluntary $5 tip in my donation button is a pretty good deal. But I understand some people would rather have the stroke. And to you I say, “Keep your cash, and enjoy your tootsie roll. No skin off my nose.”

To the source of the fake concern, this word fits you: patronize.

To behave in an offensively condescending manner toward

To adopt an air of condescension toward: treat haughtily or coolly

Thank you to all my Noble Patrons.

You rock my world. You give me the support I need to do what I love most.

I truly appreciate it.