December
2008
SEX Links
Made you look.
These are very interesting, but not for all ages.
At Slate, an examination of Adolf Hitler’s evil, centering around what he did with his willy, a geopolitical theory that explains Bergen-Belsen and the Siege of Stalingrad as the result of a monotesticular crises.
I think it’s fair to say that the very apex of cultural stupidity in our era is the compulsive conjunction of Hitler and sex. He was a “predatory” homosexual. He engaged in excretory practices with his underage half-niece. And, one of the most enduring, a myth I thought I had refuted once and for all but that now rears its head again: Hitler had only one testicle.
Crazy and evil aren’t mutually exclusive states.
Sex addiction books sell a lot of copies. Never read one, myself. I have no interest in David Duchovny’s personal problems.
Have some fun with this Darwinian Dating article, in which we are introduced to dudes who complain that all the good chicks don’t pick the nice guys.
Adding to the bitterness of many SYMs is the feeling that the entire culture is a you-go-girl cheering section…Further, it’s hard to overstate the distrust of young men who witnessed divorce up close and personal as they were growing up. Not only have they become understandably wary of till-death-do-us-part promises; they frequently suspect that women are highway robbers out to relieve men of their earnings, children, and deepest affections.
Guys who sit around and moan that somebody else is getting the snatch to which they are entitled are, de facto, not very nice.
At Harvard magazine, a fun article on the plumage that gets the peacock a hot chick.
And over here, steamy nookie narrative in Milton’s Paradise Lost.
Milton is not as boring as you think. Paradise Lost has something for everyone: Hot but innocent sex! (You thought Adam and Eve spent all their time in Eden gardening?)
“Hot but innocent sex”…sounds kind of like Stephenie Meyers’s Twilight…
Libertarian author Timothy Sandefur (great blog, you should bookmark it) has more on Milton, including a post on Areopagitica “…the loveliest defense of free speech ever published,” according to Mr. Sandefur. A reference to which will be of special interest to those who stick around for the Neil Gaiman article further down.
Sex in Iran, according to The Nation.
Mahdavi shows up at a party, thrown by a mullah’s daughter whose parents are out of town, that turns out to be a giant orgy. Smaller parties, too, frequently become occasions for group sex. Out on the heavily policed city streets, young people cruise for anonymous sex partners by passing notes into the windows of neighboring cars when they are stuck in traffic, or by driving to poor neighborhoods where nobody will recognize them as they scour the sidewalks for partners they hope never to see again.
At The Times, we learn that the Brits are the most promiscuous people in Western civilization. No word on how those naughty monkeys compare with Iranians mentioned above.
The annual Bad Sex in Fiction Awards.
“He’s a madman, she thought as he made love to her again. Oh my God, after twenty years of being the most rational Bolshevik woman in Moscow, this goblin has driven me crazy!”
I feel compelled to read that book.
And finally, Neil Gaiman on why the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund must defend porn, even sick-making lolicon manga:
And in each case I’ve mentioned so far, you could rewrite Jess’s letter above, explaining that only perverts would want to read Lady Chatterley, or see images of women being abused, or read Lost Girls or the works of Robert Crumb, and mentioning that if only one person was saved from a hug from a creepy uncle, or indeed, being raped in the streets, that banning them or prosecuting those who write, draw, publish, sell or — now — own them, is worth it. Because that was the point of view of the people who were banning these works or stopping people reading them. They thought they were doing a good thing. They thought they were defending other people from something they needed to be protected from.
I’m reading American Gods right now. Never did before, it just sat on my shelf looking at me, making me feel guilty every time I saw Neil, realizing that book had been there for about seven years, and I hadn’t cracked the cover.
So, round about chapter two, this prostitute (who isn’t), has sex with a guy, and then he gets shlooped (is that a word?) up into her naughty bits. Shlooped (onomatopoeically), not in a good way. And I was just thinkin’, ew, if that had pictures, that book would need the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. But because it doesn’t, the kind of people who might object to it would have to actually read it to find out what’s in it. And that would take effort.
It’s a terrific novel, by the way. Don’t know what took me so long. You should read it.
Mine’s autographed.
c
Back in a few days. I’m busy, and Julie, Jozef, Jeff, James, Joan, and Joe are watching me to make sure I get my work done. Which, when transcribed, looks a little creepy.
Why do so many of my best friends have names that begin with J? Do I have a J thing in my life the way Superman has an LL thing? And if so, will weird things happen to these people? Will they turn into mermaids? Or be threatened by supervillains? Will I have to marry one and reveal my secret identity? It’s all very mysterious.
I empathize with those that wonder “why the heck not me?”, I’m usually in that boat myself; especially when my friends talk about what they’re doing with their significant others. However, I’ve come to terms with that going from my apartment to work and back may not be the most fertile of areas to meet women, despite the numerous ones I see on the train. So I need to probably get out more, though I’m not a bar person.
Sure there are some women that go for the unsavory types, but I need to see that it’s not the only reason why I’m still single. Sure a guy may be “nice” but if there is no effort being put in, there’s the problem. Though being rejected and feeling dejection doesn’t help either. Oh vicious cycle!
Sorry for the unloading, just something that’s been creeping up since I’m going to be meeting a friend of mine’s girlfriend this weekend; one of my closest friends and I kept blowing him off because I didn’t want to be a third wheel, geesh!
Regarding “American Gods”, I concur that it’s a great book. I had met Neil at a signing for “Anasi Boys” that I went to. Between that book and “Neverwhere” (also got signed that day), I went to get “American Gods” and been hooked since.
Here’s another “J” person for you!;)
Before I run off to go read all the links: my copy of American Gods is one I forgot to return to the Saltmine U. library. And when I say “forgot,” I mean “forgot in a colossal fashion, right next to everything I once knew about differential equations.” They sent me a nice notice saying that I now owed them $100 to replace the book. I asked if perhaps a gentle reminder about the due date might not have been a bit more appropriate. By the time it all got sorted out, I ended up keeping the book, since they’d already replaced it.
Okay, on to Nice Guy links.
This is tangentially related to the current manga porn case:
http://adistantsoil.com/blog/2008/01/30/one-good-cop-saves-anime-store-from-kiddy-porn-bust/
Nice Guy™ syndrome is endemic amongst male geeks, and given that I’m a female geek, I’ve run into it. A LOT. Nice Guys™ are not men who are nice, kind, wonderful, decent men (i.e., a mensch); they’re men who use it as an excuse for being single.
Here’s what I wish every Nice Guy™ would know:
-Kindness and niceness are different. ‘Nice’ behavior is simply socially inoffensive behavior. I want a man who’s kind.
-’Nice’ doesn’t mean ‘androgynous.’ Go find your bollocks, because I hate having to wonder if a man’s sexually interested in me. If I want to spend time with a man who isn’t, I’ll hang out with my many fabulous gay friends.
-Don’t do things for me or spend time with me just to get in my pants. If you’re only spending time with me or doing things for me in an effort to get me to fall in love with you, it’s manipulative, and I’ll see through it, fast.
-Speaking of my pants, I know within the first five minutes whether or not I want you there, and trust me, I will let you know if I do. Women send out roughly 50 different body language signals that say we’re interested — learn to recognize them. One by itself doesn’t mean much, but when it skates into the 15+ range, chances are good.
-If you want to date me, you need to actually ask me out via some form of communication understandable by other humans besides you. You don’t have to be a holy terror who overthrows three countries before breakfast to date me, but I have a strong personality: if you don’t have the bollocks or communication skills to ask me out for drinks or coffee, we’re not a good fit. (And you need to do this fairly quickly, otherwise, I’ll assume you’re not interested. See above.)
-A man who is nice likes women; Nice Guys™ are too busy being embittered that the hottest woman in the room isn’t giving them the time of day.
-A nice guy can handle rejection; a Nice Guy™ can’t.
Also, see this handy chart.
Wow, VT is made of awesome and win!
VT, you are quite the guru! That’s quite the chart too and eerily accurate.
There is NOTHING worse than a guy who hangs around for YEARS resenting the heck out of the fact that you let him move your furniture, but won’t let him move you to orgasm, especially when he has never given any clear indication that that is what he had in mind in the first place.
If even you don’t know where your balls are, don’t expect me to find them for you.
That includes the goofball I knew for well over a decade whose passion for me I had to read about in emails to third parties.
What a creep. Oh, excuse me, Nice Guy - not in a good way.
On Nice Guys: I admit my experience of the dating pool is limited — at a time when my age peer group were really getting into it, I was deeply into academic pursuits to further my career as a writer. By the time I stuck my head up out of the water, most of the Good Guys (”Nice” — what a pitiful word for the quality male specimen) were already taken or otherwise committed. I have accepted that I made a choice that limited my scope.
On top of that, intelligence is a big factor in “sexy” for me. Looking for an available peer when you graduate in the top 10% isn’t easy. sigh
But the fact is, I’m just not desperate. I want intimate relationships to mean something to me. So I don’t do “casual sex”. That’s just me. The idea that giving nookee is an expected medium of exchange for help moving furniture or such is just plain creepy to me. Look, I’ll feed you really good pizza for the help, but I don’t “price” my body that cheaply.
Reading the rant, and MightyGodKing’s keen disection of it in particular, I admit it brought to mind a guy I know at church. I’m not trying to impune the reality of his religious committment, but on a social level … frankly, I take care to avoid him. He has a very poor sense of personal boundaries; his occasional hearty-hand-on-shoulder greetings are a little too heavy handed; and he’s a bit of an old-fashioned chauvinist, in that he behaves (though I don’t think I’ve ever heard him actively voice it) as though no woman’s opinion, no matter how educated, could possibly be superior to his own understanding. But I do suspect he’d fit into a sort of Nice Guy TM pattern.
Ah well.
Onward to the Colors of Life:
I love that bit. And I think we humans still respond to it too. Not just in the “beautiful woman/handsome man” aspect. I, for instance, am an afficianado (did I spell that right?) of men’s neckties. I love me a handsome tie. And I like it when a man wears such well. Perhaps it’s the human version of the peacock tail.
But I will comment on lovely ties, handsome ties, gorgeous ties. And I’ll do it with a delighted smile.
Some guys may be “nice”, but if their grooming/hygiene is lacking, then that’s a buffer that won’t easily be breached (no double entendre intended).
Probably some of the dumbest advice I ever got from someone was that I should be less nice and more of a jerk because, as he put it, “chicks dig jerks”. I wouldn’t want to be associated with the type that gravitates to jerks. Excuse me for being uppity. This putz is still single, so am I, but I just can’t lower myself to that level.
I may possess some fanboy tendencies, but if I was ever interested in someone, I had better take some initiative; to paraphrase Colleen, some woman won’t help me find the…um…fortitude to initiate anything.
Scribblerworks: “I, for instance, am an afficianado (did I spell that right?) of men’s neckties.”
Tying a necktie, I’ve discovered, is a difficult art. Sometimes I have to try three or four times to get it right.
What drives me crazy is guys with crooked tie knots. It’s not just a problem for average joes, either. Seriously, watch CNN for any length of time and pay attention to the neckties you see. You’ll witness freakin’ anchormen and heads of state with crooked tie knots! My GOD, if you’re a public figure and you’re going to be on national T.V. get your tie knot straight, guys!!!
As ever, VT is completely correct. I am, I readily admit, a Nice Guy™ — why pretend any different?
I’m stepping outside now, I may be some time…
Allan, Nice Guys are mean, resentful, and passive aggressive as hell, and I have never gotten that vibe from you.
Allan: “As ever, VT is completely correct.”
Maybe. Maybe not.
It appears of the men commenting in this thread so far, I’m the only one involved in a committed relationship. I’m going to give some advice I wish I’d been given when I was a teenager, because I guarantee I’d've gotten laid far earlier in life as a result.
Love and sex are interpersonal transactions. Just as with any other type of transaction, there are two fundamental truths when it comes to dating. First, if you’re desperate to give away what you have no one else will want it. Second, the more willing you are to simply walk away the better your negotiating position.
I remember reading an interview wherein Peter David talked about trying to give away Marvel Age during his days in Marvel’s sales department. Marvel Age was a promotional tool, pure and simple. But it was free, so how hard could it possibly have been to give away? Very hard, it turns out. People would walk up to the Marvel table at conventions (back when there were still conventions small enough that they didn’t merit their own zip code) and decline to take a free copy of Marvel Age because they were convinced it wouldn’t be worth anything. Strange logic, that. Before long, Marvel began charging a quarter for the damn thing and demand for it increased dramatically.
There’s a lesson in that for guys struggling to get dates.
I was a… late bloomer, shall we say. My self-concept was nearly set in stone: I was un-lovable and un-wantable. I made these things come true.
I got to a point where I resigned myself to my fate. I’d been treated like shit by shitty women and I stopped giving a shit. And everything changed. A woman actually went to some trouble to meet ME.
Believe you me, I did just about EVERYTHING wrong by VT’s standards. I didn’t call this woman back after the first date. We went on two more dates and I didn’t make a single move. She tried the “blanket trick:” she asked me if I was cold and offered to share her blanket. I declined because I wasn’t cold. (I’m serious. It went right over my head. WHOOSH!!!)
The result? Before long I fell we fell in love. We’ve been living together happily for seven years with no end in sight. She’s been with me through the loss of two jobs, a mid-life crisis (mine, that is), and just about every other kind of craziness I could come up with. Even when things have been bad it’s been good.
Again, I reiterate: I did EVERYTHING wrong by VT’s standards. But I was ready and willing to walk away at any time during the early stages of our courtship and therefore my market value increased exponentially.
Jeremy_A, before you get swept up in worrying about what SHE wants, ask yourself something: what do YOU want? Before you worry about whether you’re good enough for her, dare to ask yourself this: is SHE good enough for YOU? The next time you’re rejected, dare to entertain the idea that maybe it wasn’t you. Maybe it was HER.
The moment you do this, you will be on equal footing with her. That is the only circumstance under which something wonderful can happen.
Before anyone asks, after seven years with my girlfriend I most certainly DO give a shit and am far less willing to simply walk away. I suspect she feels the same way.
Oh, one other thing. Getting rejected is a GOOD thing. Treat it like a badge of honor. Yes, I am serious. Love and sales also have this in common: if you’re not losing any deals, I guarantee you aren’t winning any either. You got to be in it to win it, baby.
Bill, I really don’t think you and VT disagree, actually.
Because reading the whole article and associated links, we learn one thing: women are individuals and there is no magic formula, no “What do women want?” secret handshake. The article to which we are all responding quotes a bunch of immature men who seem to think there is, and wonder why someone can’t just give them the clue stick.
What works for VT is what works for VT. It is not necessarily what works for other women, certainly not for your girlfriend.
A caveat: the kind of person who responds to every rejection by then concluding the person who rejected them is flawed in some way is making a big mistake. Just because someone isn’t interested in you does not make them a bad person.
There is not necessarily anything wrong with the person who does not love you or find you particularly interesting. You just weren’t meant for each other. Move on.
Being able to move on and be kind about it is key.
There is nothing more pathetic than someone who didn’t even really have the relationship in the first place going into a rage over the unrequited love.
This is the first I have ever heard of “the blanket trick”.
Truly, I am an innocent.
I don’t think there’s anything about your post that disputes the Nice Guy links. You were a genuinely good guy who didn’t semi-stalk a woman by pretending to be her friend when what you really wanted was sex. And then resenting the hell out of her later when she didn’t deliver.
You are a Good Guy.
Colleen: “A caveat: the kind of person who responds to every rejection by then concluding the person who rejected them is flawed in some way is making a big mistake.”
Fair enough; I should have been more precise. There are men who tend to assume that every rejection means they weren’t “good enough for her.” I’m simply suggesting that such guys ought to consider that they have a right to look for what they want in a woman, and walk away if they don’t find it.
Note that I said “walk way,” not whine, mewl, kick over the chairs, turn into a stalker, or any other bullshit.
Colleen: “You are a Good Guy.”
Oh, Colleen, Colleen, Colleen. You give me WAY too much credit. I was the dreaded Nice Guy for a very long time. Took me awhile to get my act together, trust me.
One other confession: no, I didn’t get through all of the articles. I read portions of some of them, but then the damn clothes dryer broke down and I had to go buy a new one. Plus a vice president at my current employer wants me to come back to work for a bit, which won’t change the fact that I will be laid off as of Jan. 19 but it will impede my job search.
So if I went off on an ignorant rant, well, what can I say? It’s been a tough day and I’ve been batting zero since I got up in the morning.
LOL! No worries, you have more important things on your mind than links! I sometimes wonder if my fat link-o-rama’s aren’t a turn off. So much to shuffle through!
How’s the art going?
Colleen: “I sometimes wonder if my fat link-o-rama’s aren’t a turn off.”
If they were a turn-off they wouldn’t produce such interesting discussions. Ergo, not a turn-off.
If my damned clothes dryer hadn’t broke I would’ve read the articles. But it did and I didn’t. That didn’t stop me from running off at the mouth. Hmmm… your fault or mine? (Hint: mine.)
Colleen: “How’s the art going?”
Not as well as I’d hoped. Nevertheless I hope to post some pages on my blog soon and give everyone a jolly good laugh.
Looking at what I wrote, I suppose it could be construed as an attempt to repudiate what VT was saying. Really not my intent, and if it came off that way, VT, I apologize. Sometimes I need to remember that people can only read my posts and not my mind, and it wouldn’t hurt to make sure the former are more carefully crafted so as to reflect the latter.
Basically, I was just trying to say, “OK, here’s what color the sky is in my world. YMMV.”
Bill, I’m happy things have worked out for you, relationship-wise. Best of luck in the job hunt.
A friend of mine keeps telling me, “baby steps” and to be patient. That’s not a virtue I possess at times. Maybe that’s part of the problem.
I, as with Bill. was a “Nice Guy” until I started putting more into perspective. First off, guys have to realize that the women aren’t “theirs”, no ownership whatsoever. Plus, one should not build up things in their mind. If I spend more time thinking about future plans with someone before I even bother asking them out, that’s just setting myself up for disaster.
Colleen has exposed the truth that there is no “secret handshake” to get a woman, thus aggravating lots of scammers out there with the “secret”. Though that sure would make things easier if there was one. Then again, hard work makes one appreciate any success a lot more.
Sorry if I rambled - long day at work.
Jeremy_A, you’re the last person who should apologize for rambling. I’ve taken up a great deal of real estate in this thread and said little of value.
I wish I’d taken some time to sift through my thoughts and distill them down to something more cogent and worthwhile. Just as there is no “secret handshake,” there is no one single path that will take one from Nice Guy to Good Guy. You just have to figure it out for yourself.
Before I met my current girlfriend, I used to reflect on every failed courtship and wonder what I did wrong. I remember one friend telling me once you meet the right person, you don’t have to worry about any of that. When you meet Ms. Right and you’re moving too fast, he said, she’ll tell you to slow down but she won’t run away. Conversely, he said if you’re moving too slow for your Ms. Right she’ll jump your bones. My experience with my current girlfriend proved him right. I made a number of textbook mistakes and it all worked out.
I think I conveyed the impression in my earlier comments that I was brilliantly cool and indifferent during my courtship with my current girlfriend, causing her to fall into my arms. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yeah, I’d stopped giving a shit by the time we met. When we dated I just relaxed and acted like myself. She saw some qualities in me she wouldn’t have seen if I’d put up any kind of front, and it turns out those were the qualities she was looking for in a guy. That’s why we ended up together despite my many missteps.
One other bit of advice I’ve received comes to mind: “don’t always believe what you think.” I didn’t hook up for the longest time because I believed I wouldn’t. It’s as simple as that.
Hey, guys! Stop apologizing for your posts! Neither of you is being boring! And the personal experience comments have been insightful, and a fresh, wonderful counterpoint to the whine of the Former Nice Guy from elsewhere.
I just broke up with my girlfriend of the last 6 1/2 years, the person with whom I have spent the better part of my 20s. During my teen years and in college, this sort of thing precipitated a massive attack of crushing self doubt: “What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me?” etc. This time around, not so much. I’m not happy, of course; the manner of the breakup wasn’t pleasant, and since we have been living together for 4 years getting everything untangled is taking longer than either of us would like. But I’m not feeling down on myself. I suppose somewhere along the lines there I figured out something I wish I’d learned long ago: that it’s possible to do everything right…and still fail.
Not looking forwards to dating again, though, but it’ll be a while. I hate being the rebound guy, so I’m not about to go find a rebound girl.
I’m sure I’ve been a Nice Guy in the past, but I couldn’t exactly say when. I’ve never befriended (or pretended to) a gal for the sake of hooking up, (and most of my strongest and most rewarding friendships have been with members of the opposite sex) but I certainly have been resentful and passive aggressive towards some of my exes.
Wow, I am really sorry to hear about that. It sounds like you have the right attitude, though.
If anything has taught me that it is possible to do everything right and still fail, the comics industry sure has.
BTW, I can no longer access my blog dashboard during most hours of the day. I have set up Leechblock, a web surfing filter to help control my time leeching online activities.
If you are a new poster and can’t get your comments approved, you may need to wait 24 hours or more for me to approve them.
Sorry, but I just need to stay on target. It is too easy to web surf when I need to be working.
Facebook is of the devil.
Bill, it did come across that way, but after reading through your comments, you weren’t exactly having the best day ever. Hey, it happens. As Colleen pointed out, I was writing about what works for me; and we’re in agreement — I said I wanted a man who could find his bollocks, and you wrote about how you went about finding yours, in your fashion. Good luck with your job hunt, and keep at your art.
thisbrokenwheel: “…but I certainly have been resentful and passive aggressive towards some of my exes.”
I know very few people who have experienced resentment-free break-ups. I think it’s a question of the intensity of the feelings, how long you hold onto them, and whether and how you act on them.
I’m sorry to hear about the break-up, but I agree with Colleen: it sounds like you’re handling it as well as can be expected. Another way to look at it: every failed relationship is a learning experience you can leverage to make sure the next one is better.
Aw, Christ, I sound like Dr. Phil. I need a f—ing drink.
VT: “Good luck with your job hunt, and keep at your art.”
Folks, if you haven’t seen VT’s art, it’s enough to give one an inferiority complex. She’s that good.
Obviously, so is Colleen.
Yes, indeed, I need a drink.
As long as you’re buying, Bill, you can Dr. Phil me all you want. I could stand a drink or six at the moment.
The point I was getting at was that while I may not have been a Nice Guy in trying to get with a girl, I most certainly have done it to a few post-break up.
VT’s art does indeed rock the Casbah.
Colleen, dude, no need to apologize for managing your time.
TBW, sorry to hear about your breakup; good luck. Have a beer for me.
Thanks for the compliments about my art. I’ll pass them on to my amazingly patient teacher and good friend, Ron Lemen.
thisbrokenwheel: “As long as you’re buying, Bill, you can Dr. Phil me all you want.”
If I’m buying, then we’re all having tap water in a Dixie cup. At the moment it’s all I can afford.
(Although someone with whom I interviewed asked me to call back. I don’t think an offer is necessarily forthcoming but this can’t be a bad thing. Job-hunting is like dating in that respect: no one asks you to call back if you’ve been ruled out.)
I checked out most of the links last night, and I could have saved myself a lot of time and trouble if I’d done that before posting. Can’t disagree w/what VT — and just about everyone else, for that matter — has written. Doormats — whether male or female — simply aren’t going to get what they want out of dating, or anything else in life, for that matter. And they’ve no one to blame but themselves.
The articles to which this thread linked were actually more even-handed than I expected. Nevertheless, I do wonder if there’s a bit of a double-standard these days when it comes to one gender bitching about the other. When the lead characters on “Sex and the City” trash men, I tend to see women responding with a hearty “you go, girl!” When men do the same thing on the big or small screen, it’s often followed up with them doing something stupid because we all know that men who complain about women are immature louts who need to grow up.
I understand that it’s not an apples-to-apples comparison, because the majority pattern historically has been male dominance over women, and not the other way around. Case in point: the other day, my girlfriend and I watched the original version of the “The Longest Yard” to compare it to the remake. The movie opens with Burt Reynolds grabbing a woman by the jaw and throwing her to the floor because she doesn’t want him to take her Maserati out for a spin. This was in 1974. It wasn’t that long ago that knocking women around was considered an acceptable thing to do.
Nevertheless, I think it is worth noting that just as there are men out there who need to get their act together, there are women who need to do the same. 15 years ago I allowed myself to be manipulated for the longest time by a woman who would promise me sex (and in my book, “I want you to make love to me” counts as a promise of sex) in order to secure the emotional intimacy from me that she couldn’t get from the losers she was dating. She reneged on every promise of sex, of course. (And yes, I should have dropped her like a hot potato the first time it happened but what can I say? I’ve learned not to kick myself for the person I used to be. I’ve learned my lessons and continue to do so, and that’s the best anyone can do.)
Several years after our friendship ended, she wrote me a letter asking if I’d like to get in touch. (My girlfriend, confident woman that she is, told me it was up to me. And she meant it. Didn’t bother her.) I dropped this old “friend” a line in return to see what might happen. After all, I had moved on and grown up, and I thought maybe she had, too. No such luck. Her next letter to me was like a time warp; she acted like nothing had changed and no time had passed. She expected me to fall back into her manipulative little clutches. Fortunately, for all of her flaws she wasn’t a stalker, and I was able to solve the problem by simply not writing back, thereby relegating her to irrelevance.
[...] No one hates lolicon manga more than I do, but consider the consequences to other comics if the manga you don’t like get mixed up with the comics you do. Links and more discussion here. [...]