A Distant Soil by Colleen Doran

Just came in my mailbox, and printed here with permission. Name redacted by request.

As you know, sometimes it takes me quite awhile to finish off commissions and get orders out. I keep good records in case anything goes astray in transit. A customer wrote today to let me know a weeks-old international order for Orbiter original art had not yet arrived. Fortunately, I had the customs form number on file.

Here’s what happened to the art.

Hi Colleen, hope things are well. The good news is the artwork has finally shown up and is now safely in my hands. I say “shown up” because apparently it was delivered about two weeks ago when I wasn’t home. Instead of leaving it in my mailbox, the mailman asked my neighbour’ s son if he could hold on to it and give it to me later. The little turkey said yes, but really meant “I’ll keep it for myself”. So on Friday his father ended up seeing the art and asked where he got it & he had to confess that it was mine so they brought it over and his Dad made him apologize.

However….the kid then told me that you had included a greeting card (which he threw away, of course) and a Spiderman comic that he traded to a local comic store for some hockey cards (this IS Canada after all ). So yesterday I took the cards to the LCS and tried to get the book back with no luck. The store owner told me he wouldn’t give it back since the cards weren’t worth as much as a signed comic. When I pointed out the cards where the ones HE traded for the book i the first place, he told me it wasn’t his fault the kid was stupid. SO I called a friend of mine who’s a constable with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, told him what was going on & got him to call the store. he told the owner that because the book was stolen, the boy had no right to use it any business transaction. Since the owner now KNEW the book was stolen, any refusal to return it could result in him being charged with possession of stolen goods. And since he had put the book up for sale already, he could be charged with SELLING stolen goods. That was enough to get him to change his mind (though not his attitude) about giving back the comic. When I went back to pick it up this morning, he called me a Nazi at least twice for calling the cops on him. I found that somewhat amusing since I’m VERY chinese and I ‘m pretty sure Nazis would have just killed him instead of calling the police. TO add insult to injury, my RCMP buddy told me I was not legally required to return the hockey cards to him (not sure how that works, oh well). I was going to give them back anyway because I have no use for them, but he was being such a jerk I decided to hold on to them instead.

So I now have the Spidey book in my collection and I thank for including it, even though you didn’t have to. The Orbiter page is on my dinner table under a couple of phone books. The kid folded it a bunch of times. so I’m trying to flatten it out. As for the greeting card, he couldn’t remember what it said but I thank you for the card as well.

And what have I learned for all this? From now on send everything to my work address.

Now I’m going to get a drink and watch my neighbour’s son cut my grass. (Insert Evil Laugh HERE).

Since our limited edition books are so valuable, I’ve mentioned before that I always hold a quantity back in case something goes wrong. Now you know why.

The reserves are now back on the market. Click on our book shop for info. Only three volume I limited editions left.

And thanks to my readers for your kind patronage. The Amazing Spider-Man #326 comic was something extra I included for this reader. I like to surprise people with a little something extra special once in awhile.

Bad. Bad comic shop. Should have learned something about do-right from all those superhero comics he sells.

Bad. Bad sticky fingered kid.

I hope he enjoys lawn work.

c