On the whole, I avoid picking on celebrities, because they are cheap targets and no one can possibly get paid enough to put up with the fame crap.

That said, there’s Michael Jackson.

I thought you’d enjoy seeing this link to the auction of his worldly goods, including this memorable work which proves that money can’t buy good taste:

I admire the technical proficiency of the painting, but WHO THE HELL BUYS SOMETHING LIKE THIS!?!?!

And you know he paid through the nose for it, so to speak.

My guess is he paid at least $50,000 to a portrait painter for it, so with an auction estimate of $8,000, no bargain there.

Then again, Jackson was notorious for not paying clients. Science fiction artist Michael Whelan said in interviews that he had a devil of a time getting Jackson’s people to pay up on the big bill for the art to a cover painting Whelan had created for one of Jackson’s albums. I’d love to link, but the interview is in an old fanzine: Interzone, I believe.

Jackson’s money people declared that Whelan should be flattered to do art for Jackson, and that the publicity would be good for Whelan’s career. Why should he expect to get paid?

Whelan did eventually collect on the debt.

Great pics of Jackson’s goodies at that article. I know someone who would love that Superman figure.

Here’s another article about lifestyles of the rich and stupid, saved from the old message board, “Mark Twain’s Quest for Bling”:

America’s most beloved writer, the man who brought us Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, spent most of his life on a wild quest for big bucks, investing in schemes, and oddball inventions. While writing satires that sneered at the Gilded Age uber rich, Mark Twain gave every indication that he would very much like to be one of them, and his harebrained plots usually left him broke. (EDIT: The original link to the quotes here have disappeared, but I’ve found another great article to replace it. Enjoy!)

“While Clemens expressed satisfaction with his writing and tended to crack himself up with his own humor, he measured his success by his personal production and income,” Krass writes…

“It would be fair to say that he probably would not have necessarily decided to earn his living as a writer unless he had failed as a silver miner,” Fishkin said, but “he learned things from all of his experiences and adventures that came in handy when he wrote.”

Perhaps the uncertain nature of the writer’s life helps to exacerbate this problem. Or maybe Mark Twain was just a little too much Tom Sawyer.

Get-rich-quick delusional behavior gets even worse if one actually has had some measure of success in one’s career. Some seem to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to chase down that magic formula that will repeat that success. The minute money comes in, they blow it. They live beyond their means, trying to impress their friends with how successful they are.

When income was sparse, one acquaintance (not in comics) lied his way into getting a wholesaler account with a manufacturing company, and then began selling the goods online for tidy profits. The requirement was that the account go to retailers with storefronts: he had no store, he was simply reselling on ebay.

This went well for a time, and he earned thousands of dollars in a matter of months, every single penny of which he blew in 120 days by indulging in high living. Dining out alone accounted for $6,000 of expenditures. Someone who earns $1,000 a month as a writer has no business spending $6,000 on food.

To make matters worse, he went on to lose a small fortune on those goods he was selling, because by then everyone had gotten into the online sales scheme he was running and suddenly he had huge competition. He was stuck with loads of inventory, much of which he had to sell at a loss.

This was just one in a series of bad moves. Financial planning? Retirement accounts? Mutual funds? Forget it. Some people are entitled to be rich. Smart people shouldn’t have to work hard!

What happened to the guy? We dunno. This was years ago, and while he generously shared his cautionary tale for my blog, he seems to have disappeared off the radar since.

This sense of entitlement is usually accompanied by utter contempt for people who actually do have money as well as an inordinate fondness of celebrity proximity. Duck and run when these people get anywhere near an actor. They whip out their cameras with such speed you can hear a sonic boom.

c

PS: This may or may not be related: Steve Geppi, Diamond Comic Distributor boss, experiencing financial woes, including unpaid back rent on his pop culture museum.

This article was originally written several years ago on the old blog, and has been moved here complete with most of the comments. The material is still timely!

Following up on our jolly article about Mark Twain’s get rich quick schemes, the sad truth is there is no surer way to get poor quickly and permanently than by becoming a writer.

While a very small percentage of writers rake in the cash, the low income echelons increase as the internet and book pirating cut into writer’s profits. According to this survey, the average writer in Britain makes no more than 4,000 pounds per year (about $6,000)! Of course, many of them continue to believe they will break that exclusive club of top ten percent of income earning phenoms, despite all evidence to the contrary.

“Jane”…is now on her fourth book, in her forties, with a devoted band of readers. They see her on stage at literary festivals, elegant and eloquent and just a little bohemian, and think: “There is a writer who’s made it.” They don’t know that the advances have dwindled down to £10,000 a time (from which the agent and taxman take their share; and for a book that usually takes about two years to write). They don’t see the bills threatening to make her sell her house.

Jane doesn’t want me to use her real name in case it upsets her publisher or fans. Neither does she want them to know that she works in the local Waitrose for cash, as well as teaching and tutoring.

“People come and see me all bright-eyed, dreaming of being a writer,” she said.

“They’ve got the idea that anyone can do it. That’s what people think: that it’s so easy. I wish! I tell them I’ve been training since I was seven.” Others do have talent. “They tell me it’s their calling. I say it will have to be. I don’t want to crush them, but the best advice if you want to eat is: ‘Do something else.’”

Copyright pirating, especially online, is a major problem for writers (and artists) whose work can be downloaded for free at any time. Writers are desperate to come up with ways to make the internet pay, but many consumers who use the internet are accustomed to getting their entertainment for free. They see no reason to buy a book or piece of art when they can have it from websites around the world.

A…crisis meeting (was) called by the ALCS at the British Library on Thursday, but some of the most distinguished names in British literature were there to discuss the plummeting income of authors and the copyright issues that threaten to make it worse. Some raged against Google’s plans to make whole books available online for free. The poet Wendy Cope lamented the ease with which you can download her own works and those of other poets for free.

“With every new technological development, our copyright becomes more precious,” said Maureen Duffy, writer and honorary president of the ALCS, “and yet seemingly less understood by those who want to use our work.”

As for artists, a professional’s income averages about $15,000 per annum, and some must now compete with websites offering high quality, downloadable images for sale, or cheap, hand painted knockoffs with no royalties paid to the artists, to say nothing of the large numbers of scanned comics now available. (more…)

An executive at gaming company Decipher has plead guilty to embezzling 1.5 million dollars. Financial losses, stemming in part from the crime, have caused the company to lay off dozens of employees. However, authorities have been unable to find the stolen funds. It appears the moolah was spent on high living.

Decipher sued Eddleman. As lawyers obtained information for the case, Eddleman admitted embezzling $326,000 through personal charges on a company credit card and $529,000 through check-writing schemes.

Decipher, which held the license for Star Trek and Lord of the Rings products, has suffered money and management problems for years. A 2006 article outlining Decipher’s financial woes, showed the company had sold its office and was leasing space next door. Decipher had also lost their company health insurance.

Game tournament winners who had not been paid their prizes had threatened to sue. Many Lord of the Rings fans were annoyed at the short-lived fan club which had offered premium membership prices, but did not last more than a couple of years (I was a member, too. Sob. You can see my name on those limited editions LOTR dvd’s.)

…16 players who are owed tournament money, (were preparing) to take legal action against Decipher. He said he has heard from friends and retailers who order Decipher’s products that the company has closed down two of its three Norfolk warehouses.

Alas for the Tidewater area, there must be something in the water. That region gave rise to the horror that was Starblaze, and a few other small press schmucks I was very happy to leave in my rear view mirror.

There was a large fan community in Tidewater, and a modest, pro community there. Frank Kelly Freas once lived in Chesapeake. I once lived in York County.

The cannibalistic behavior among the worst elements in that arena was something else; Amy Player, cut a bloody swathe that reached across America and right into Middle Earth, and the desperate grasp for SMOF status among some of the fen was positively nightmarish to behold. Sad, because there were so many good people there, too.

I tried to get a job at Decipher some years back, but found the staff so surly I never pursued beyond a short interview. It appears they had very good reason to be surly.

Hat Tip: The One Ring

c

Bargains galore and mountains of bad taste in the Michael Jackson auction catalogues. The pop superstar’s money problems brought his stash to the brink.

Alas, those of you hoping to walk away with a genuine painting of Michael as 16th century monarch are going to have to wait. Jackson’s managers staved off the sheriff. Still, this website has his worldly goods for your perusing pleasure.

Jackson possesses a disturbing collection of sculptures and paintings of little children. And ephebe youths.

There is no way you could look at all that lladro and not question the man’s…taste.

An undistinguished collection of art. Some of the antiques are nice, but the juxtaposition of Americana, Baroque, Neo-Classical, Victorian, Edwardian, 19th century Chinese, and Disneyana…holy cow.

The only painting I recognized is the 19th century Cleopatra by D. Pauvert. I have the Sotheby’s catalogue in which it was originally offered for sale.

Missing from the auction, conservatively estimated at $1.5 million to $3 million, are two paintings by the highly rated 19th-century French artist William-Adolphe Bouguereau, which Jackson bought in New York in 2002 for $1.34 million. Jackson did not pay for them (a spokesman at the time said that the reason was that the paintings “no longer fit” into the pop star’s collection), so Sotheby’s had to file a suit for damages.

There are a few fine genre landscapes and faux Norman Rockwells, inexpensive reproductions of nostalgic paintings of rural children.

Don’t miss this distillation of the weird. This blogger took some snaps of the collection of Michael memorabilia, and if you have never even imagined a monumental triptych of Michael Jackson as a reigning monarch crowning and knighting himself in two separate panels, well, now you don’t have to. Someone painted it for you.

Thanks to Scribbler (Sarah Beach) for the links. Sarah guest blogged about screenwriting and comics here.

And our thanks to Arlnee (Arlene Harris, who guest blogged about the whitewashing of Avatar: The Last Airbender).

She has alerted us to the return of the Russet Noon Lady, the rather forward fan who decided to take it upon herself to write a Stephenie Meyers Twilight sequel. And sell it.

For one brief shining moment, it seemed that the Russet Noon writer had come to her senses, as her book was pulled and her website taken down. But the Lady of the Sparkling Vampire Potato had a change of wank and decided to give it all another go, declaring:

Characters don’t belong to authors. Authors don’t create characters. They merely channel them. Characters are recurring universal archetypes. The only thing that changes is their names and identities, but their essence is always the same.

And then came the sound of Joseph Campbell spinning in his grave.

I’ve met some professional authors who say the same things about characters-and-archetypes-and-everything-is-beautiful to their public.

Because they are pandering.

It makes people feel warm and fuzzy to believe we are part of the Hive Mind, and if we could just learn the secret code, then we too could become best selling authors.

Yet I’ve never met an author who espoused this who wouldn’t sue the shit out of anyone who violated their copyright, or their publisher who didn’t pay the royalties. And I’ve yet to meet a bestselling author who was willing to put that Hive Mind love to the test by letting any of their best selling works go into the public domain.

Hive Mind is all well and good for other people.

When my Hive Mind taps the well, baby, I’m staking my claim to that gusher. There’s no Kumbaya in my copyright.

Massive wank-a-licious follow ups at Fandom Wank, where the Lady of the Sparking Vampire Potato responds to her critics, writes letters of fan martyrdom, engages in sockpuppetry, invoketh the teal deer, and makes with the massive attention whoring, which I am aiding and abetting here because I like to study TEH CRAZY so as to better spot it and avoid in future.

Holy Massive Spud-a-licious-Vampires Batman! Comics scribe Peter David is organizing a POTATO MOON parody project to benefit The Comic Book Legal Defense fund! Count me in!

Would it totally freak people out to know that I have been considering that Edward Cullen would SO make a better boyfriend than Sandman’s Morpheus?

Moving along, Val Trullinger puts the smackdown on some weirdo who shows up at her blog to mark territory with anonymous hate.

I have never seen some of those words in my life.

My guess: the abuser is a woman. What do you all think?

I blogged Debbie Schlussel’s psychological break over Watchmen (still haven’t seen it myself. My car has no engine.)

Over at Acephalous, another look into the dark heart of Schlussel.

Acephalous blogged about Watchmen far more intelligently than I did. He also gets far more interesting trolls. Smart people can be scary, I guess.

But I can’t find the exact links to the weird trolldom, so just read the smart posts about Watchmen, the movie I still haven’t seen.

Have fun.

UPDATED! Oh wait, one more for the road. Rus Wornom points to this: Could The Girls From Planet 5 Be The Best Novel ever? I dunno, but one of those covers looks like it was painted by Frank Kelly Freas. Cooked Timber goes deeper into this glorious tome.

A flying saucer full of beautiful female aliens has landed, wiping out Alexandria, VA by accident. But they are apparently friendly. These seductive Lyru are welcomed in ‘Biddyland’, as the Texans now refer to North America outside of Texas. (They haven’t actually seceded, but they’ve basically severed social and cultural contact with the rest of the country. Oh, and you have to be able to rope a steer in order to vote. It’s sort of Cowship Troopers, that way.) But all is not well …

Wow! Awesome! Must read!

c

New French internet piracy law in effect.

Illegal downloaders will be sent a warning e-mail, then a letter if they continue, and finally must appear before a judge if they offend again.

Artist sues store for selling “defective” art supplies:

Macias, who said in the suit he is known for “vibrant” art, claims the degradation of his pieces has harmed his reputation and that total damages far exceed $75,000.

“(Macias) fears, as time passes, evidence of such damage and deformity will begin to appear in other of his paintings and art,” according to the suit filed Thursday.

One for the Japanophiles. A lovely story about an American man who takes care of a small, dying Japanese town and its inhabitants:

It is one of thousands of withering Japanese villages. Home to more than 100 residents in the 1950s, Tsuchikure has seen its young people move away in search of jobs and never return. After eight years without a death, it had four villagers die this year; three are in the hospital and one-fifth of the houses sit empty.

A review of a biography of the talented Patricia Highsmith, author of Strangers on a Train and The Talented Mr. Ripley.

Highsmith was all too aware of the demons that fueled her writing. At 26, on New Year’s Eve 1947, she wrote a 2:30 a.m. entry in her journal: “My New Year’s Eve Toast: to all the devils, lusts, passions, greeds, envies, loves, hates, strange desires, enemies ghostly and real, the army of memories, with which I do battle — may they never give me peace.”

Reform movement for English libel laws:

Science journalists and academics are among those who have complained vociferously about the current libel laws in England and Wales, with the case of bestselling science writer and broadcaster Simon Singh becoming a cause célèbre for the libel reform movement.

A 2008 article written by Singh for British newspaper The Guardian included critical observations of the effectiveness of chiropractic and the evidence for the effectiveness of its treatments. A writ from the British Chiropractic Association soon followed, with the BCA alleging that Singh had impugned its reputation.

Italian police uncover stash of stolen fine art in the collection of a defunct dairy company:

Italian courts have ruled that Parmalat founder Calisto Tanzi bore the brunt of responsibility for the 2003 collapse of Parmalat. The daily and juice multinational was brought down by billions of dollars of debt in fraudulent bankruptcy. Many small investors losing life savings were among some 40,000 defrauded bondholders.

Sordid art: not everyone enjoys the work of painter Tracey Emin.

In the modern age, we are surrounded by man-made ugliness. And artists, who used to devote their efforts to idealising the human form, to recording the charms of nature and bringing order and beauty to our sorrows, are no longer interested in those tasks.

Galleries of contemporary art are filled with the debris of modern life, with subhuman figures purposefully designed to demean and desecrate the human image and with ludicrous installations that mean nothing at all.

The young Harry Potter actors: a softball story about their future, with vid. I like these kids.

His co-star Rupert Grint, 21, who plays Ron Weasley, says he has no doubt that Harry Potter will be the “biggest thing” he will be involved with.

“I make the most of it and enjoy it,” he says.