I just realized there is a redundant line in panel 4, and there is no reason for Beys to have 2 word balloon pointers in the last panel. I may tweak that in the next collection.
Regarding the redundant line — you just had a lot of slaughter on your mind, and you wanted to make sure the readers didn’t forget that pile of dead children, all slaughtered by cold-hearted slaughter.
I don’t think it is redundant. She’s talking about two different slaughters: The Choosing, where hundreds of kids are killed because they aren’t useful or perhaps even “dangerous” and the slaughter committed on various worlds where they enslave races.
8 Comments
Colleen
I just realized there is a redundant line in panel 4, and there is no reason for Beys to have 2 word balloon pointers in the last panel. I may tweak that in the next collection.
Funny what you see later.
scribblerworks
Regarding the redundant line — you just had a lot of slaughter on your mind, and you wanted to make sure the readers didn’t forget that pile of dead children, all slaughtered by cold-hearted slaughter.
😀
It could be worse, Colleen. But it isn’t. 😉
Colleen
LOL! I totally slaughtered that line! What a slaughter! Slaughtery slaughter!
mamid
I don’t think it is redundant. She’s talking about two different slaughters: The Choosing, where hundreds of kids are killed because they aren’t useful or perhaps even “dangerous” and the slaughter committed on various worlds where they enslave races.
Allan
Does mamid get a No-Prize?
Colleen
Allan, you’re so funny. You SLAUGHTER me!
@Mamid: good point, I just think it would sound more euphonious had I chosen a different word.
mamid
I’d love an El-Ron. But I won’t qualify for one of those till next year’s V-Con.
Colleen Doran
UPDATED.