A DISTANT SOIL: The Ascendant Chapter 2 Page 13 |

First off, sorry about the snafu here. A couple of corrupted files, and out went a couple of posts. Alas, the original comments are gone, but I have reloaded the pages safely.

Thanks to Hughesnet, reloading only TWO pages took almost 45 minutes.

The noble patroness of the arts Arlene Harris does my humble self the honor of hitting my donation button. For this, she secures herself a lovely page featuring the lovely and stern Major Kovar.

Thank you so very much, Arlene!

And congratulations on winning NaNoWriMo! Drop by Arlene’s blog for a look at excerpts of her book.

By the way, if I ever get around to it, I must replace some of these tone sheets. They were so fine they just turn black on the page when reduced. Oops.

And BTW, I like the “quick like a bunny” line, but I think the follow up of “go fetch” is overkill.

Does anyone mind if I natter on about my work like this? Hope not.

11 Comments

Arlnee

November 30, 2009 at 4:00 am

thank you! I actually logged my goal 100k tonight with one day to spare. And I’m just short an epilog to finishing it, so the finishing goal is met as well. Next stop: making my spellcheck cry like a third grader! 🙂

btw, I agree about the two lines, but I’d keep the “go fetch” and get rid of the bunny line.

btw, have I mentioned how much I hate Bast? I mean, lately? Oh, okay. Just checking 🙂

mamid

November 30, 2009 at 6:07 am

I don’t think that line is overkill. She’s trying to reestablish her place within Ovanan and as staff of the Avatar, she’s higher in the pecking order than a servant, a variant, or as she sees him, a slave. So, by giving him an order like that, she’s showing who is boss.

Colleen

November 30, 2009 at 10:16 am

I dunno, it seems redundant.

Considering Bast’s character – and her name – it might be more telling to have her use a line about a dog as a pejorative, so I’m now leaning toward Arlene’s perspective here.

Then again, she might use the bunny line to mean that she thinks D’mer is something cute and small and unthreatening to her.

But, would she use both at once?

Gosh. Writing is hard! LOL!

mamid

November 30, 2009 at 3:22 pm

some of the sparing later on also goes to the pecking order thing. D’mer outranks her in Seren’s trust, but she outranks him because she’s Ovanan and he isn’t. The rest of the household, well, one in particular, thinks D’mer is a threat and the only one who will eventually be an ally is at first what seems to be only yet another staff member, but once again, Ovanan so he too outranks D’mer.

Arlnee

November 30, 2009 at 5:16 pm

the reason dog works better, for me, is not only the “pet” connotation but also the domination/superiority angle. A pet is rendered harmless, not taken seriously, but a pet that also is trained, kept on a leash, and told to fetch? Dog is FAR bigger the insult. Particularly since she’s saying Kimarian nobility is lower than an outcast Ovanan. Rabbits aren’t expected to be trained, merely domesticated. Dogs, however, are controlled. She’s basically saying “bad dog” to him, but even implying he’s a good one is an insult. It’s a “have you stopped beating your wife” kind of statement.

Or maybe she just thinks she’s smarter than she really is and thinks the more metaphors she adds in, the better she looks. Which is fine. The more she makes herself look ridiculous, the better I like it 🙂